I. When Judas heard the unanimous voice of the chief priests and ancients declaring that Jesus was guilty of death, his soul was filled with a black remorse that made his life intolerable. How he hated the miserable pieces of silver for which he had sold his Master! How he hated the chief priests who had bribed him! How he hated himself! The sweetness and gentleness of Christ came vividly before him, and only added to his misery, as it will add to the misery of the lost at the day of judgment. How bitterly he repented his folly ! At least he would rid himself of the accursed money and declare his guilt. But he had gone too far. He had refused so often to listen to the voice of Jesus that now his hardened heart refused to melt. What a warning to all who turn a deaf ear to the voice of conscience !
2. Yet he might have been forgiven even now if he had thrown himself at Jesus' feet and begged for pardon. But this he would not do. His repentance was a hopeless, black remorse no element of hope or love or humble sorrow. It was the repentance of the lost in hell, who cry, "Fools that we were!" but yet will not, cannot, humble themselves to cry for mercy.
3. How miserable Judas had been from the first! Had those pilfered gains in early days brought him solid satisfaction? Had he been happy when he sacrificed his Master's interests to his own? Are we happy when we knowingly prefer our own selfish interests to those of Christ? Sin and misery are twin sisters. My God, may I never wilfully betray Thy interests to my own pleasure or gain!
Source: The Sacred Passion of Jesus Christ - Mediations for Everyday in Lent
by Richard F. Clarke, S.J., Imprimatur 1889